December 30, 2009

“We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.”–Dakota Indian proverb

When I worked at the university veterinary hospital as a grief counselor, I had many memorable cases.  One left a lasting impression on me.

Karen had waged a constant battle with her chocolate lab over the muddy paw prints he tracked into her house every time it rained or snowed.  “I yelled at him all the time,” she sobbed.  “Now, I can’t bring myself to clean up the last ones he made.”

Max had died a week ago.  After living in a ‘messy’ house for a week, Karen’s husband wanted to mop the floors.  But, Karen didn’t want him to erase the very thing that had caused her such pain.  Those muddy paw prints that now brought her so much comfort.

“I’d give anything to have Max come bounding through my door with his muddy paws again,” she told me.

I think about Karen and Max when little irritations start to ‘rattle’ my day.  And I make myself remember that often the thing you dislike the most about someone becomes the very thing you miss the most after they’re gone…

 

December 23, 2009

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it’s the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him...”–Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know, when it comes right down to it, there are relatively few people whom I trust without any doubt—and few people who trust me in that same way.

Yet, there are many, many animals in my life who trust me without question.  And the feeling is mutual.  Where does this kind of trust come from?

Scientists tell us that feelings of trust are primarily due to the chemical oxytocin.  In fact, in one study, couples who took a whiff of a nasal spray containing oxytocin before discussing an ongoing marital conflict engaged in much more friendly, positive conversations that the couples who didn’t sniff!  Apparently, oxytocin fosters feelings of good will and attachment.  This may be why it seems so easy to love and trust our companion animals…simply watching them or spending time with them releases oxytocin into our bodies.  And into their bodies, too.

Oxytocin.  Instant trust.

Maybe doctors should begin telling us to “pet two cats and call me in the morning.”

 

 

December 16, 2009

“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.”

–W. H. Auden

Who makes us laugh more than our pets?

December 9, 2009

“The only reason a business exists as a business is to help certain someones solve a certain problem they can’t easily solve for themselves.  That’s why people are willing to pay their time and money, because they get help.”  --Mark Silver, Heart of Business

Veterinarians and their practice teams are in business to help pet parents solve problems with their pets.

It may be a medical problem, a problem with a pet’s misbehavior, or even a human emotional dilemma, like deciding which course of treatment is best for a pet and the family who loves him.

Yet, helping is a tricky thing.  If you’re the person who needs help, it’s important to be clear about exactly what you want.  Don’t expect others to read your mind!  And, if you’re the person offering help, it’s important to truly listen to what others are asking for… only then can you provide the information, service, or emotional support they need.

All too often, ‘help’ is based on what we think might be good for someone instead of on their actually needs.  Or on what we expect someone will provide for us rather than what they are truly prepared to give.

Take time to listen.  Don’t make assumptions.  Effective problem-solving starts with an honest conversation.

 

December 2, 2009

Many of us think that granting “family” status to our pets is a fairly recent development, but did you know that Americans can trace the “family” pet back to the first Thanksgiving?

According to the American Kennel Club, two breeds of dogs accompanied the pilgrims on their trip from England to Plymouth Rock in 1620.  The mastiff and the English Springer spaniel most likely had utilitarian roles to play in the ‘new world’, but I bet they were thought of as good companions, too.  I wonder if they gave thanks for their canine friends during that first wonderful feast?