March 31, 2010

"Unsolicited advice is abuse."
--Roy H. Williams, Monday Morning Memo, The Wizard of Ads
 
For many years during my professional career, I taught clinical communication skills and grief support techniques to senior veterinary students.  I remember one case where an eager student launched into a fairly graphic and detailed description of the euthanasia procedure while her client gaped at her in distress.  The student didn't mean to do harm to her client.  She had simply neglected to assess her client's "readiness" for the information.

As her supervisor, I broke into their conversation and removed the student from the exam room.  In the hallway, out of earshot of the client, we discussed a gentler way to convey such emotional information.  I suggested she use phrases like, "it's often easier to make such a difficult decision when you have an idea of exactly what to expect from the experience..." and "when you feel ready to hear about the supportive methods we use to make euthanasia a more comforting experience for you and your family, I'll be happy to talk with you in more detail."

The student "got it" immediately and realized that, as a medical professional, she had detached from what she could clearly see was the emotional impact of her words and hurried through the explanation.  Now, she returned to her client, apologized if she had seemed insensitive and tried the new style of communication.  The client sighed deeply, shed a few tears, and smiled.  "Yes, I am ready now and want to hear what you have to say."  Trust had been re-established and the conversation took on a much deeper, connected tone.

One thing most people identify as a favorable trait of pets is that animals don't give advice.  Advice should be given sparingly and only with the recipient's permission or at their request.

 

March 24, 2010

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
The Zen of Zelda: Wisdom from the Doggy Lama by Carol Gardner

In this cute little book, this wise saying is illustrated with a photo of a slobbery bulldog wearing a sweat-stained T-shirt and a hard hat.  Not the cuddliest dog I've ever seen!
A few pages later, though, there's the same dog with her ears thrown back, eyes wide, and a big 'grin' on her face.  The caption says, "Smile if you want a smile from another face."
While I agree that we shouldn't 'sweat the petty things', it's often the "sweaty things" that need our love and attention the most.  And, more often than not, these diverse images are contained within the same living being!
When we turn away from the people, pets, and circumstances in our lives when they're not projecting their their most "attractive" qualities, we often miss the opportunity to truly be of service to them.

March 17, 2010

"All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." -Helen Keller

My family took a quick trip to Steamboat Springs this weekend for spring break.  On our way up the canyon, we listened to the "'60s" and "'70s" stations on XM radio.  So many memories from those old songs!

As I listened (and sang each one, much to the amusement of our 16-year-old daughter), I thought of events in my life I hadn't thought of in decades!  And, around the edges of many of those memories, both good times and bad, were the sweet, familiar faces of our former animal companions.

There was the first 'Bear', a huge, barrel-chested golden retriever who used to hike with me in the mountains when we lived near Georgetown.  And Chelsea, the first cat my husband and I adopted together soon after we were married.  There were dogs who licked my tears when I was devastated by a loss and cats who warmed my lap on lazy Sunday afternoons (back when there was such a thing in my life!)

But, the true revelation was the realization that I could feel, actually feel, the love they had for me then as if it were present in my life right now.  My beloved pets didn't have to be physically in front of me for me to access the feelings of love they always brought me.

Driving over Cameron Pass, listening to an Eagles tune and remembering Bear, I felt the same lightness I always felt each time I looked into his happy eyes and saw him panting with contentment after a long walk together through the pines.

Sure, I miss those pets.  Yet, I know they are always there, waiting for me to call them to the forefront of my mind for a wonderful, loving visit. 

 

March 10, 2010

"We have to fight them daily, like fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for the sap our energies." - Etty Hillesum, author

 

Thankfully, most of us no longer wage a daily battle with fleas, but we probably spend a good deal of our time worrying.  My dogs have helped me see how useless and truly uncomfortable this activity is...

 

I live with three dogs.  One is a worrier, ever vigilant about the people walking by our house, the leftovers on the kitchen counter, and the dog treats that he KNOWS are in the bureau drawer just waiting for him to eat.  I find myself attempting to calm and comfort him quite often as he seems to get upset over silly, little things.

My second dog never worries about a thing because she is clearly in charge.  She sleeps the day away and, when she wakes, begins barking orders at those of us who are her minions.  She has nothing to worry about except keeping the rest of us in line.  Frankly, she can be a pain in the you-know-what and she probably should worry a bit more about what others think of her!

Our third dog doesn't know what worry means.  He is always joyful and simply shows up for whatever the other two dogs have in mind.  "We're going outside?  Okay!  There are food scraps in the kitchen?  I'm there!"  He is a worry-free soul and I want to be like him.  Even though he never worries, he never misses out on anything .  And, if he did, I think he'd take it all in stride.  After all, how can you miss something you didn't really have in the first place?

Observe your pets' 'worry' habits.  What can you learn from them about your own worry?  Doesn't it make life more painful and uncomfortable than it should be?

 

March 3, 2010

"Even on a cold, grey day, I feel so much better after I've spent some time playing with my dogs outdoors."  --Laurel Lagoni

 

Yes, today I'm quoting myself.

Not because I think I'm so smart, but because I want to remind myself to go outside and get some fresh air!

Honestly, if it wasn't for my dogs bugging me to go out with them to play fetch, I might not ever set foot in my back yard.  And I don't understand why.  I love to spend time in nature and, as a kid, my mother couldn't get me to come indoors.  Can you relate to this?

Well, apparently, I'm not the only one who finds indoor activities more compelling than being outdoors.  It seems our high-tech, electronic world offers too many distractions from the natural world outside.  Lucky for us, the National Wildlife Federation (NWF) has taken on this issue with a campaign to remind parents to provide a "Green Hour" every day for their children.  A Green Hour, according to the NWF website www.greenhour.org , is a time for unstructured play and interactions with the natural world.  Research shows kids are happier and healthier when outdoor time is in balance with indoor time.  The NWF is even getting political about the concept, launching a campaign to lobby congress to support environmental education through their "No Child Left Inside" Act.  Love that.

I'm embracing this idea because I know it's as good for me as for the kids.  And, it's another way that the bond I share with my dogs impacts my life for the better.

Thank goodness for dogs!