October 27, 2010
"I'm confused about what to do now with my dog's ashes. He was cremated and I received his remains a couple of weeks ago. I don't really want to keep them, but I also don't want to scatter them around and then have nowhere that I can "visit" him. Help! What do other people do?"
--excerpted from a conversation with a pet parent
This is a common dilemma for pet parents as there aren't as many rules and customs for pet cremains as there are for human cremains. Here's one idea from a wonderful, little book by Daniel Butler called How to Plant a Tree: A Simple Celebration of Trees and Tree-Planting Ceremonies.
According to Butler, people have always enjoyed a close relationship with trees. They provide food, shelter, protection, and enjoyment. And, when planted with purpose, trees can provide meaning and comfort for years and years. Here's what Mr. Butler suggests for an In Memoriam ceremony combining a loved one's cremains and a tree planting.
The ashes of our loved ones, Butler says, contain minerals like carbon and potassium. When we line a pit with these ashes, the "physical essence of a [loved one] will be incorporated into the cells of a tree" that is planted there and can actually live on within that tree.
Butler suggests you match the personality of your loved one (pet or person) with the characteristics of a tree. For instance, you might choose an olive tree for a person who loved to cook or an evergreen to symbolize a pet's constant companionship and devotion. If you live in an apartment, you might try this with an indoor tree like a ficus or Norfolk pine.
Butler's book also includes ideas for tree plantings that celebrate new additions to your family, like a new puppy or kitten, and begins the cycle of life all over again.
October 20, 2010
"Humans have always had a deeply spiritual relationship with trees. The Tree of Life is mentioned in several spiritual traditions and many cultures believe trees contain spirits or a noble presence worthy of being honored and preserved." --Daniel Butler, How to Plant a Tree: A Simple Celebration of Trees and Tree-Planting Ceremonies
I recently read about a Colorado couple who hired a chainsaw artist to carve the likeness of their giant schnauzer Fritz into an old tree in their backyard. The top of the tree is a carving of the dog himself. Since the tree leans to one side, so does the image of Fritz. But, that's okay since Fritz is a "leaner" in real life. You know about "leaner" dogs, don't you? They like to sit or stand as close to you as possible, then lean into you, as if you are only there to prop them up and keep them from falling over!
There is also a carving of Fritz's face lower in the tree, along with his name.
I really like this idea as it makes use of the old tree and creates a memorial work of art at the same time. The article didn't say what the couple planned to do with Fritz once his time was over here on earth, but could you think of more fitting final resting place?
Fritz is still alive, so I'm guessing he might occasionally "claim his territory" upon this tree sculpture, which will make it even more personal!
October 13, 2010
"...when it first appears in English 700 years ago, the meaning of our word cure was not a remedy to sickness, not the successful outcome of medical treatment. It was closer to that original indo-European root and it meant care. People went into the hospital for the care and concern they were given."
--Charles Hodgson, Podictionary.com
In studies looking at patient satisfaction with human medicine, patients report that caring is a more valuable part of their doctor-patient relationship than curing. Related studies show that people want to go to medical professionals who acknowledge their emotions and truly listen to their concerns.
Is this true for you? I know it's true for me.
No doubt, if I'm seriously ill, I want a doctor who can help me heal and feel better. But, regardless of the ultimate outcome, I want a doctor who knows who I am, calls me by name, remembers my fears, doubts, and my triumphs, and genuinely cares about what happens to me.
In veterinary medicine, the distance between curing and caring doesn't seem to be so great. As Dr. Marty Becker from Good Morning, America, is fond of saying, most vets find ways to "connect the science with the soul."
If your veterinarian is a caring soul, generous with his/her time, and truly concerned about YOU, as well as your pet, don't forget to tell him/her how much you appreciate the attitude. With a little bit of encouragement and reinforcement from clients like us, veterinarians can ensure that curing and caring don't become separate behaviors.
October 6, 2010
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.”
–Anias Nin
An acquaintance of mine, who recently ended a long-term marriage, just adopted a llama.
She named her Princess Beginagain (Begin Again). She says the name real fast so it sounds like an exotic, tribal title.
“What on Earth are you going to do with a llama?” I asked her (no judgment implied!)
“Well, we’re going to build a life together and see where this friendship takes us,” she replied.
Wise, huh?
She reminded me that we don’t always have to know where a relationship is “going” before we get into it. It’s enough to just know that you have a friend. And, if that friend happens to be a llama, then all kinds of new possibilities, indeed new worlds, open up.
During the rest of our conversation, she told me she’d joined a local llama club and that she’d already gotten to know a new veterinarian who she suspected would become a good friend. “Who knows,” she laughed, “I may even learn how to knit!”
Possibilities not even born until Princess Beginagain arrived…
